I will go to the gym after I lose some weight … wait, what?

Just Do It. Even If You Suck

If you can get passed the lurkers and those that only go to the gym for the free tanning we all have a gym membership for one reason – to work out.

Everyone that has taken the plunge and signed-up has envisioned a better body – no, not a better one – a hot body. Wait, simmer in that image for a moment. Damn, in my mind I look hot! Like walking into a room in slow motion hot. Hot HOT HOT! 

Okay, back to reality. 

When I envision a slimmer, hotter, cuter me I do not look at a mirror, I look at clothes. Lately I have been online looking at outfits that are out of my size range and comfort zone. I am sorry, did you say “what is a size range”? Well, there is an image many of us get in our head of how we would like to look (remember a moment ago when you simmered in that image?) and then there is the size range. The range is where you know realistically you will or could be in the future. So, I have been looking outside the realistic range. Pinterest has this “women’s fashion” category where the whole outfit is conveniently pieced together complete with earrings, bracelets and a color coordinated handbags. That is where I live. In women’s fashion la-la-land.

I found myself telling my husband that I felt I was getting soft in the mid-section and things were not fitting quite right. I knew that if I just got back to the gym I would feel great and keep going but I could not seem to just do it. I had done so well and then life happened and days turned to weeks and weeks to a few months and my progress went right out the window. I do not want to start over and I sure as hell do not want to keep feeling like this.

I started walking because, I told myself, I just needed to get back in a routine. Nope, I know what I was really doing. I do not want to go back to the gym all pudged out. I am worried about how I will look and how I will have to essentially start over. In my mind, deep down, I am telling myself if I can lose a few pounds I will feel better and I will go back. WTH!? You are laughing/snicker/chuckling – hopefully not crying – because you have also told yourself this.

I have never looked at anyone in the gym and thought they should not be here (okay, maybe the really sweaty ones – the ones that have sweat pouring off them when they even look at a treadmill – maybe I have wished them away), but the others- fat, short, old, chubby, flabby, out of breath – I have never thought anything but “awesome – work it”. Most of the time though I am too worried about me to be thinking of everyone else. So why am I worried that others are going to be judging me? Isn’t it more likely they are too concerned with how they look to even notice or judge me?

While I am worried about how I will look my money is wasting away- heating the showers, powering the tanning booths and keeping the lights on for those who dare not to care. Truth is, those going to the gym care more about their health and future selves than they do about what others think. Then it hit me. Maybe it is time I do too.

Look in the mirror



The problem with good ideas …

… and yes, there is a problem.
Until recentlLight Bulby I did not understand the statement, “I am just not that creative”, I did not get what was so difficult. With Pinterest you do not need to be creative – just follow the directions.Recently, though, I found myself in a creative dry spell. I started to think that maybe I was not creative anymore. My friend and I were hosting a ‘Christmas in July’ gathering for our friends and even with a board on Pinterest dedicated to this magical event I could not get started. Nothing spoke to me. The snowflakes I tried to craft more closely resembled something pulled from the hose of a vacuum and the idea of baking cookies ranked alongside getting a root canal.

Days turned into weeks, weeks into months and I arrived in July with nothing to offer my Christmas in July guests. I had lost the desire to blog and no imagination to create or decorate. You have reached a dark place when glitter cannot pull you from a slump.

Something change last week. I do not recall the moment but there was a turning point. I started having ideas. I thought of blog topics, came up with a way to refresh my kitchen, and the mere suggestion from my husband to move the love seat from our den to our living-room turned into a HGTV series where I was mapping out moving this here, and that there, and oooo a new paint color which turned into a new rug, table, chair, light fixture and I renamed the room – I FREAKING RENAMED THE ROOM! Then I had this insane idea that I could rent my house – weekly in the summers and as a seasonal rental in the winters. That turned into a mental list of what would need to be done 1) new appliances 2) add beds 3) talk to a property manager – all the while still mentally redecorating my den (now aptly named “My Imagination Room” – way cooler than “My Office”, right?).

It did not stop – the ideas just kept coming. At one point I thought it would be brilliant to start a YouTube Channel. Why- I have no idea. Not sure what I would do or say, but I swear in the moment it was utter brilliance.

I was on idea overload. There it is, the problem with ideas. They seep in. No harm. One or two thoughts pop in and you think to yourself, ah, that is a good idea, or oh, I should try that. You make a mental note to come back to it later. Just as quickly as the idea arrived, it is gone. Not forever mind you. Ideas float around like car inspections and registrations. You know they are there, waiting, they float in and out of your consciousness until the ability to plan for them is gone and BAM – they are upon you.

You know what I am talking about. Every year around December 14th you think, I should have (made a scarf for everyone, a Christmas wall hanging, made cards by hand, baked goodies for the neighbors, gone on a sleigh ride or fill in the blank with one of your own) but you didn’t so you will remember for next year. You think of it in June and maybe again for a moment  in September when the air turns cool, but you will not think of it again until December, when it is upon you.

Ideas are problems until they become realized. They clog your mind like old shoes and pre-baby pants stuffed in your closet. They are there reminding you of what you have not done, what you have not seen through and well, they hold you back.

To eradicate the problem you must put the ideas in to action. You must get them out of the proverbial closet and decide where they rank and what to do with them. Open a Google Spread sheet (or excel, or open office – I do not discriminate) and started naming the tabs: imagination room, vacation ideas, remodel, weight loss – whatever your ideas or goals are – right down the line. Then as you come up with related ideas  pop them in and rank them by level of importance. Weight lifted.

It is crazy that I had unknowingly caused myself additional stress with all of these ideas. Putting them in writing took away the subconscious worry that I will forget them, ranking them reminded me what was really important, crossing them off the list gave me a sense of accomplishment and as I have more ideas I can add them.

Problem solved.